Ever since that appalling Fifty Shades book, everyone seems to have woken up to the idea of trying new things. I think everyone fantasised about kink before the book, but would never admit they did. Despite the book series being terribly written and quite frankly boring, it at least brought kinky into the open and got people discussing new ideas of how to spice things up in the bedroom.
Being British we all seem to live by quite prude ideals and as a result our sex lives stagnate as we never seem to discuss sex that much with our partners or what may actually get us going.
So Ladies you’ve read the book, but maybe think its a bit far fetched for a beginner. Gents most of the ladies you are now dating have read the book so are clearly open minded to pushing the boundaries a little.
BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. A lot of these can seem quite daunting descriptions, but they don’t have to be. You can include elements of these in your sex lives to make things more interesting.
What can you try as beginners to get those kinky juices flowing?
Bondage. The basics of bondage are being bound. This doesn’t have to be as extreme as rope work (Shibari). Gents, you will most likely have the odd old tie knocking around, ladies a silk scarf you haven’t worn in a while. Try loosely
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tying your wrists together or your individual wrists for your headboard at each corner. The feeling of not being able to touch your partner can be exciting and raise the game and level of trust during sex.
How to take this further:- Buy some leather cuffs like the ones pictured or a length of soft rope and your imaginations are the only limit.
Spanking. Being spanked doesn’t have to cause damage or that much pain. A little slap on the arse of your gent or lady can get your heart racing. Especially in doggy style your partner cannot see a little spank coming and will be a surprise sensation.
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How to take this further:- If your partner really gets into spanking, you can purchase a leather or wooden paddle. This allows you to spank harder and saves your palms getting too sore. I recommend this one from Love Honey seen on the left.
Toys. Most women have owned or used toys at some point but few seem to actually use them with their partners. If you own some toys ladies, get them out next time you are having some sexy time. As a guy I love gadgets and toys are no exception to this. Furthermore, get online and shop for new toys together. The fact that you have both chosen a toy is really hot and you can look forward to planning a night in with your new purchase.
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How to take this further:- This has worked great for me in the past, I’ve even bought toys for dates, read how it went here. Vibrating egg date. Click on the image to find out more about the egg I used, its amazing.
Sensory play. Sounds quite technical but here are some things everyone can try. Tickling with a feather, lightly drag the feather tip over your partners naked erogenous zones and watch them squirm. The one pictured comes with a nice handle to reach easily around your partners body. Ice cubes can be used to gently rub over lips and nipples. Using both the ice and then a warm tongue can be an amazing sensation for your partner.
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How to take this further:- Try sensory play with your partner blind folded or even purchase a pin wheel.
Give these a go, the level to which you take them is entirely up to you. The key is to try them, see if you enjoy them and continue to explore with your partner.
Do you have some exciting kinky ideas? Leave me a comment below.
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