Meeting your ideal partner can be a big enough challenge as it is but something I’m experiencing first hand when I meet people are those who are stuck in the negative mindset.
What do I mean by this?
- Complaining about previous dating failures.
- Talking about why their previous relationship failed.
- Looking for negative aspects in dates that don’t really exist.
- Lack of confidence in their body or appearance.
- Being unhappy in their job.
- Problems with friends that are getting them down.
Any or all of these challenges can become overwhelming and affect your mood, temper and personality if you let them. To anyone meeting you for the first time or in the early stages of dating, if these aspects of your life take over you can start to project negativity onto your partner and it can be very damaging to your chances of success.
What can you do about it?
- Try not to talk about negative aspects of your life. We all have them, but if you talk about them too early on, it will seem like you are dumping on your date. No one likes to hear people’s problems, especially so early on. If you need to talk about them, talk to close friends and family who I’m sure will be glad to listen.
- If you are feeling particularly down and you are meant to be going on a date, don’t go. Being in the wrong mindset will greatly affect your chances. Say that you are not feeling too well and re-schedule, relax, pamper and lift your mood.
- Let go of the past, your previous experiences all shape who you are, but you must move on. New people have no connection with your past and its an opportunity to start afresh. Don’t judge people on previous bad experiences or you may miss out on some great opportunities.
What can you do if you meet a date with a negative mindset?
- It can quickly become evident when someone is down. If they start to dump, listen initially don’t cut them off, but then try to change the topic of conversation onto something much lighter. Observational conversation about your surroundings or people around you can be a good distraction, try and get them talking about something that you are both experiencing in your chosen venue.
- You can try and help them with their issues but this will only prolong the negative direction. It’s best to avoid drawing it out and talk about something else.
- Jokes, however rubbish they may be, try them. Laughing is proven to lift anyone’s spirits, even if its a really bad knock knock joke, throw it out there and ask if they have any to share.
- If the negativity continues through date one and beyond you have to decide for yourself if you think they are really in the right place to date or if you want to carry on supporting them through a rough patch. Negativity can be infectious and some people just need time to get through it on their own with the support of friends and family.
Only you can take control of your emotions, feelings and positive outlook. Focus on the now and everything that is great in your life. Usually people stuck in the negative mindset are actually in a great place, they have just let the smaller negative aspects in their life get the better of them instead of tackling them head on and changing them for the better.
Have you been in situations where negative thoughts and mindset have been an issue? Please do tell me by leaving a comment below.
Stay positive all.