I’m a somewhat avid contributor to Twitter dating conversations (please do follow me on the feed to the right) and in the past few months this topic has come to light several times.
I’m not sure if I should wear these heels as it will make me taller than him.
I’m not sure what to wear as I don’t want to give the wrong impression.
I don’t want to tell her what my job is as it might put her off.
In all these cases my answer would always be, JUST BE YOURSELF.
Too many people worry about how being themselves will affect what others may think of them and try to mould their looks or personalities into something they aren’t.
Here are some reasons why this may not work for you.
- If you are taller or a similar height to your date, not wearing heels on date one isn’t going to change that. If you enjoy wearing heels and it makes you feel confident and sexy then you must wear what you normally wear. It’s not sustainable to continue to wear flats when dating this person. At some point you will want to wear heels and then it will be harder to make that choice. If he has a problem on date one with your height then at least you know early on. It’s their issue, not yours. Personally I love a lady in heels, regardless of their height.
- The same goes for clothing, if you usually wear knock out dresses, skirts and tops on a night out and that’s what feel comfortable in, then wear them. What you wear is part of your personality. If you alter that in fear of coming across in the wrong way or giving signals that might indicate sexuality, then again you are hiding your true self. It’s good to feel and look sexy, that doesn’t mean you need to have sex.
- Your Job. Recently I entered a discussion with a fellow tweeter who’d said that a girl wouldn’t date him again after she found out what he did for work. I never did find out what his job was but it’s irrelevant anyway. If you lie about your job or withhold that information it will come out sooner or later. Some people’s chosen careers can be politically charged or against some peoples ethics. If your date finds it offensive enough not to continue seeing you then it’s not the end of the world, you just aren’t the right fit for each other. Never be scared to tell someone about your job, tell them why it’s so interesting and why you decided to follow that career path.
To wrap up I’d just like to say the following.
Have confidence in who you are, what you wear and what you do in life. This is far more attractive to a potential partner than someone who is censoring the real you. Be yourself.
Have you experienced some of these dating dilemmas? Leave me a comment below and tell me about it.